Friday, July 3, 2009

Riches and Gratitude-Remembering Maddie

Photo of Madeline Alice Spohr by her Mother Heather Spohr originally posted at The Spohrs Are Multiplying

I had to do something scary today. I was driving to an appointment for further diagnostics of the mammogram I had Monday. The results could change my life. I've actually faced the experience before. The outcome then was complicated, but ultimately, I was fine. Today I was frightened. My mind ran away to worst case scenarios and bad statistics. I was a little frazzled. Could not seem to get it together. I felt utterly alone.

I was stopped at a red light with my window down (95 degrees and my old truck doesn't have a/c) and I could hear a muffled bounce of song in the silver suv next to me. Preoccupied as I was with my worries, I was accelerating away before I realized it was Beyonce's "All The Single Ladies".

Maddie loved that song. Heather wrote about it and posted a video of Maddie's own version on her blog The Spohr's Are Multiplying here.

Friend, I tell you, what a glorious child-such light. And today, big grown-up me, facing the spooky appointment, was rescued and reminded of how rich and lovely life is by the merest whisper of a song bringing to me the memory of Maddie singing and dancing. All that sweetness and joy! And in that moment I found calm.

There are worse things to face in this life than spooky diagnostics. Mike and Heather face the unimaginable daily. I just had to see some doctors. I often think about the fact that Maddie and her parents had just 17 months. Oh and how well they lived them! What an embarrassment of riches, this time I have had. And I am grateful.

Thank you Maddie.