Saturday, December 15, 2012

2012 You Were Batshit or Was It Just Me?

Kisses lovers. This is what 50 looks like the day before it hits.

I squandered  49 in procrastination and sadness. How incredibly stupid.

I am  grateful everyday for my family. I have to keep my attention on fine details because the big picture right now makes it hard for me to breathe. I am trying to let go of fear. That is such a hard thing to do. I am sporadically creative and feel in my bones that therein lies my salvation. Where is the courage required to leap?

There have been years from which I ungraciously took my leave claiming I would not miss them. Hello 2009! But I will. Right now, feeling properly old (thanks Mama for the AARP membership including bright red retro fanny pack!), I see them for what they were. Opportunities squandered. And fuck that.

So, barring Mayan prophecy, 2013 will be wooed. No more waiting for perfect conditions. I'm leaping. And I know I'll land where I should. Like always, I'll land on my feet. Remind me to tell you about how I used to jump off my horse Marmalade at a run and stick a perfect landing every time just for fun. That's how I roll. I truly do love you.


Janelle said...

well. if that's what 50 looks like i look forward to the trip! looking FABULOUS. yes. bring on 2013. one time. whoop whoop. x j

k said...

Thank you Janelle. Happy holidays. Here's to a new year!

mig said...

happy birthday!

k said...

Thanks Mig!